You know you have lived in the Middle East when:
- you enjoy camping in the sand
- you are not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat
- your idea of housework is leaving a note for the houseboy
- you wear a jacket inside and take it off when you go outside
- you think carpets belong on the wall
- you know which end of the shawarma to unwrap first
- you know exactly how much alcohol allowance you have left for the month
- you define nanosecond as the time interval between when the traffic light turns green and the guy behind you leans on his horn
- you send friends a map instead of your address
- you can receive every television station except the local station
- you get used to getting hot water from the cold tap in the summer
- you accept that there is no point in asking why you are not allowed to do something
- you expect queues to be one person deep and 40 people wide
- seeing guys welcome each other with a kiss and hold hands while walking no longer distracts you
- you carry 12 passport size photos around with you just in case
- you can tell the time by listening to the local mosque
- you thinks it's a good night if there are fewer than 10 men for every woman in a bar
- you can't buy anything without asking for a discount
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