I know, I know...this is my favourite topic, but I can't help myself. Driving in Doha is an experience in and of itself and I must vent in order to stay sane.
One tip for safer driving - never, never leave the car park without adjusting your mirrors - you really do need eyes in the back of your head. Yesterday, a very stately black car glided nonchalantly beside us. As it passed us by I remarked that the "B" on the trunk must stand for Bentley. Not five seconds later it made a rabid, undignified and uinindicated swerve into our lane - not 6 inches from the hood of our poor little car. Patrick remarked that the "B" would soon stand for "Bashed" if he wasn't more careful.
The wrecks of cars line the roads in pitiful heaps waiting to be collected and buried in their final resting place. Some of them (if the engine continues to run, and there are four wheels able to turn) still play dodgems amongst the traffic, with just a little more panache and zeal than necessary seeming to say "Bash me if you like, the worst is over already". And can someone please tell me why some drivers find it impossible to unglue the cell phone from their ears? The number of one-handed, everyday moves made in round-abouts and straight runs is astounding. And it is always accompanied by drift, as if the two actions of steering and holding a phone require the agility of a Cirque de Soleil artiste.
It's a wild, wild world out there. So in keeping with my wild jungle metaphor I have some analogies to make: We have elephants and hippos adequately represented by the trucks of all sizes, all weights and all loads, that lumber and bellow along every road in Doha. Beware the round-abouts as these animals can stampede their way through very small spaces, leaving devastation in their wake. The taxis are like cheeky monkeys - all around you, jumping up and down, squealing, taunting, stopping anywhere, swinging out when you least expect them and then sqauwking at you as if you're the one who should have waited. The TCN's (third country nationals) are everywhere - like gazelles, buck and antelope - they're quick, they're skittish and focused on getting from a to b in the least possible time. The 4 x 4's, (Hummers included in this group) quite easily the most common animal on the road, can be likened to the water buffalo or the wildebeest - great herding instinct, graze and migrate in droves, a bit of a pack mentality, with a tendency to bulldoze their way around, mindlessly unaware of the smaller species trampled beneath them.
The cat family is also well represented: there are enough Lambourghinis, Maseratis, Ferraris, and Porsches that resemble the cheetah most of all - sleek, fast and powerful as they zip in and out of traffic, usually speeding way ahead, with most of the other animals looking from left to right in that quick tennis head thing when you watch a ball being lobbed from one side of the court to the other in a perfect ace. Another cat - very scarce, very well camouflaged and never in the right place at the right time: the police car, ably represented by the leopard. And what would the jungle be like without the lion - king of the beasts - very territorial, and extremely vocal: Qatari men take to this role like ducks to water.
Qatari women add some flair to the animal kingdom as well - a fairly rare breed, somewhat like the rhinocerus - "don't mess with me" is the distinct message - she may have poor peripheral vision because of the hijab, but she has great instincts. Honorable mention must go to the ex-pat spouse: she is like the meerkat: family oriented, usually travelling with young ones to and from school, or in packs with other ex-pat wives gathering food, friends, and generally having fun. Living mostly in compound villas, she peeks out from her burrow to test the wind first, as she is most comfortable in off-peak hours, then darts to places close by and uses well-frequented watering holes like malls and souqs. If danger threatens, she is likely to scramble back to her burrow and may not venture out for days to come.
Last but not least, the ex-pat worker: mostly male and immanently adaptable. Best likeness - the chameleon, a very flexible creature, eyes rolling everywhere, a good grasp on any branch, and a very quick tongue to secure his authority. He changes himself according to the vehicle he is in (if it's fast, he speeds like a cheetah; if it's a 4x4, he bulldozes like a wildebeest, etc), and according to the passenger - wives require a little patience and forebearance, whereas colleagues require a little bravado. Situations will bring out a different animal as well, as he plays dodgems in peak hour, and slows to a more sedate pace driving to the mall on Fridays. He just might be the best driver on the road, but don't tell him that, it may give him a bigger head than he already has.
To end on an optimistic note though: Each day that all of us venture out into this "wild jungle", the mayhem that ensues does have some positive results: more conversation points are generated; and it prevents one from becoming drowsy or bored, and therefore, more likely to survive. It aids the body in producing blood circulation peaks, also helping to keep the brain producing adrenaline - so important in that fight or flight instinct. Finally, it hones all those defensive driving skills that keep us from being eaten alive.
There is a very clever video on You Tube, called "The Worst Intersection in Doha" - says it all!
Insha'allah
agenda was an English High Tea at the Ritz Carlton Hotel. It was oh so posh in the most decadent of surroundings - sweeps of marble floor and a central chrystal chandelier that probably rose two stories. We experienced white glove service, bite size sandwiches and my personal favourite: scones with clotted cream and jam. I tasted my first Middle Eastern tea, served from a Moroccan tea pot and poured into tiny etched glass cups. I chose a Moroccan tea, described on the menu as "a hint of gunpowder with an effusion of mint". Don't think I will try that again - a bit too bitter for my taste.
Perhaps it takes successive increments of exposure. Perhaps the sunworshippers are longtime residents. Perhaps...but I think I will continue to be wary of the heat, and I don't think it hurts to complain about it. After all, it becomes a topic of conversation, just as it does in Canada. Plus ca change plus c'est le meme chose.... 
